Give you back
by StolenSpark
Summary: Just a little songfic. From Pixie's POV


Author's notes: Song is "Give you Back." By Vertical Horizon.

This is just a little something I wrote, so don't expect a masterpiece. 

**__**

~Give you back~

They had finally recognized me. Jumping to the obvious and true conclusion, most left me alone. Former baddies are even more skittish, knowing more of the story.

I guess they just don't know what to say to me.

"Hello Colona Sun God!!" Eve yelled, hugging my leg.

"Hi kid." 

"You look different, Colona sun god...why are you crying?"

Her parents took her by the arm and dragged her away, shooting me apologetic looks. Heh. I guess they got it too. 

__

I need to know if you were real  
'Cause I've been known to get it wrong  
When the memory comes  
I'll say I'm always in the dark  
You got me now   


When I was young...I joined Moo. And for some unknown reason...I never saved his life in battle, I never helped him achieve a position of power, I hadn't done anything for him. Big Blue...he just wanted to be with me. My one true friend. Moo assigned him to serve as my second in command.

More to keep a check on me than because we worked well together. You can hold on to someone so much better if you have something to take away. And Moo did.

Heh. It was unexpected. It was the family I'd wished for...I guess Moo gave me what I wanted. Was it real or some manipulation? He could make people feel so many other things. No. It had to have been real...Big Blue...

__

I want to give you back  
I want to give you back  
Somewhere out of here  
I want to give you   
I want to give you   
I want to give you back 

I could have told you so many things- I didn't.

I shouldn't have let you come with me- I did.

  
It was only a matter of time. We weren't anything special...Moo was...

I want to hear you tell me its okay. You gave yourself entirely. I couldn't imagine life without you...now I have too. You forgave me for all I did to you, right? You never resented having to look after me, did you?

I can't remember when we met, the first time we laid eyes on each other. Heh, don't you think that's pathetic? 

You saved my life so many times, took care of me when I was sick, protected me from danger, and I can't even remember the day we met.

I didn't even know your birthday...

  
_I can't remember how it went  
You looked like everything I wanted  
And as you came along  
Slowly everything began to change  
I got you now   
_

The guilt doesn't always help, so I get angry. How much could someone give up for someone else? This isn't fair! Couldn't you have goddamned waited for the Phoenix? No. You had to go out of your way to prove your devotion to me. It was suicide...the noblest person I knew wasn't deemed worthy of life.

What should I feel knowing that my only friend committed suicide for me. And he's not coming back.   


__

That's enough  
Just talking about it  
I don't mind   
I don't mind no I  
Laugh enough  
Just dreaming about it 

I have the same dream over and over. In it, we're together like we used to be. And you say what you meant to tell me so many times. 

I saw the look in your eyes when we had to separate on our journey.

I heard the distress in your voice when I was hurt.

I knew. You didn't die with me not knowing. I'm so sorry that I never said anything...or maybe I'm fooling myself. Because I wanted it to be like that, deep inside... 

  
_I need to know if you were real  
I'd hate to think that I'd been fooled again  
And as the vision fades  
I'll say I was blinded by your eyes  
I felt them burn   
_

I just wish I could give you back all the things you gave me. I want to really know if I had someone who loved me...

I wish I could give you back. I don't want to wear your corpse for the rest of my life. 

There are no more grand gestures to make. No more battles for revenge, at least so far. It's empty. Where do I go now...I don't want to try and live a normal life without you...

I'm sorry. 

A gift of life...can I ever hope to give it back?

  
_I want to give you back  
I want to give you back  
Somewhere out of here  
I want to give you   
I want to give you   
I want to give you back_


End file.
